Kaffee, nicht Känguruhs

I’m closing up shop here for a while and setting my sights on some other pursuits. I might resuscitate the journal format at some point down the line, but for now, this is the end of the line for Kaffee, nicht Känguruhs.

Thanks for reading.

djsacche

Abstract Booty.

In addition to work, socialism, nudity and sex, central and northern Europeans have quite a different take on marriage than their peers in the US. And the differences run far deeper than the mere ceremony or when it happens in life. Many couples here simply don’t see the point of getting married. Which isn’t to say that they refrain from long-term commitments to a partner or shy away from having children. Rather, couples here will meet, commit to one another, have children, share a household and all its inherent responsibilities - all without entering into the lifetime commitment of marriage. It’s an interesting distinction between central and northern Europeans and Americans. As Americans, the norm is to meet, fall in love, get married, and then proceed to have children. Here, the timing of a wedding and commitment through marriage is more desultory, and many people I’ve met and spoken with simply don’t see the point of getting married at all.

Another disparity I’ve found is the lack of stigma associated with having a child out of wedlock. When I spoke about the American tendency to tsk-tsk a couple who birth a child before marriage, a European friend of mine quickly stated, “Yeah, we don’t have that problem over here.” And it’s true. I know of several devoted couples with children who have been happy with one another for years who have given nary a thought to getting hitched. One need only look at Ségolène Royal, the recent runner-up in the 2007 French presidential elections, for proof that this particular strain of social disapproval has no place here. Not only have she and her ‘life partner’ parented four children, they’ve also lived in different houses for years. And the French thought so little of this that Royal garnered nearly 47% of the vote. Quite simply, this scenario is impossible to imagine in American politics.

Furthering the Atlantic split on marriage and love, I’ve been faced with a myriad of questions from Europeans regarding the concept of ‘dating’ in the US. They’re fascinated by the rules, procedures and protocols associated with courtship in America. Theirs is a more freeform approach to sex, love and wooing of the opposite sex. They don’t talk about ‘waiting x number of days to call,’ who picks up the tab, when kissyface and boot-knockin’ is supposed to occur. They’re wholly mystified by what it means to ‘date’ someone.

Building on this, in my experience in Europe, I’ve noted that men and women enter into deeper and stronger nonsexual relationships with the opposite sex – and there’s no jealousy or distrust played out even when both parties are in a committed relationship. Among most people I know in the US, you simply don’t come across many lasting non-physical relationships among members of the opposite sex where either a) the friendship is shared with a partner, b) the friendship is among those who were formerly romantically involved, or c) one of two are gay.

What I find so fascinating and vexing about life here is how artfully a society can juxtapose such seemingly ancient and traditional approaches to many facets of life with jarringly progressive and challenging stances on love, sex and marriage. So just when you think Vienna is stuck in the mid-19th century, she throws you a wicked curveball that leaves you wondering exactly which end is up.

djsacche

Angola? Luanda!

There’s one place that can make me feel homesick like none other while living abroad – a spot where, upon leaving it, I feel a longing for Americana, its big cities, its frenetic pace, its endless possibilities, a longing like none other. The inside of a movie theater. It’s happened on many occasions, but last night, watching Zodiac (about the mysterious killing spree that took place in late 60s/early 70s San Francisco), I left the movie theater and was more than a little disappointed to pop out to the ancient, ornate, and tidy streets of Vienna’s Inner Stadt. Some films can be so gripping and enveloping that you simply expect to walk out to their world upon exit from the theater.

Life continues apace in central Europe. The summer to date has been incredible, with family and friends visiting me in Vienna, the hardball season lumbering along, daylong bike rides (with thoughts of a Danube-long excursion stuck in my mind), and a possible trip to Romania next month. Still hot on the trail for new employment, and have some good leads in place. But what’s really keeping me busy these days is my mission to learn the capitals of all the countries in Africa.

djsacche

Horrible, horrible people.

As a close friend of mine recently put it, “The Austrians are horrible, horrible people.” Now, that’s a tad bit harsh, really, but dagnabit if I don’t find some truth to that statement at times. Why, just today, I spring out after a morning of job searching and checking box scores to snag some groceries. I grab my reusable euro-bag (you gotta bag your own here, son) and head to the not-so-super market, and what do I find greeting me as the doors slide open? Why, nothing less than two elderly Austrian men berating one another in some of the loveliest German imaginable, right at the front of the store! As the Austro-spectacle unfurls before my eyes, I let out a few guttural guffaws and try to piece together what these two fascinating specimens are jousting over. But with their slapdash Wienerisch speeding along at a cadence that I simply can’t follow, I have only my imagination to fill in the blanks on what these two old bastards are quarrelling over.

So I pick up my groceries, laughing over the din of Fight Night at Zielpunkt, passing customers who can’t fathom just what I’d be laughing about. It’s all too funny to me. They’re funny for me. If I don’t let the bad vibes and pessimistic folk get to me, it is simply hilarious at points.

Sometimes it’s as if I’m living in some sort of Disconsolate Theme Park, touring and living amid a populace and city that loves nothing more than to create ill will, put others on edge, and tell you what to do. And it falls into even sharper contrast when put against life in the US or in other parts of Europe. I just got back from a week and a half in Boston and Cape Cod and a few days in Prague with family. Just wonderful to be amidst people who smile back at you, who will engage in light conversation while in line, and simply seem to be human.

This Vienna thing is love-hate, big time. And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the Austrians are ‘horrible, horrible people,’ I can say that their demeanor and attitude certainly lives up to that description at times.

djsacche

Course correction.

My swing has been an absolute mess this year. I’ve felt lost at the plate, striking out far too often and simply not getting the job done. My slot in the three-hole has slipped to seventh or eighth in the order over the past few games, and for right reason. I wouldn’t hit me third the way I’ve been swinging at the plate. It was time for a course correction.

So whilst home in Beantown, I hit the cages and worked things out. Realized I was stepping out away from the pitch. Overhauled my swing. Installed a new jump step. Got my timing right.

So first game back, first at-bat, I get a fastball down and away, reach for it and rip it to right center for a double. Back in business, baby. I ended up going 2-4 with a couple ribbies, a steal, and two runs scored. Felt fantastic to get things right. And as an added bonus, I nailed down a save in my first pitching stint in Austrian baseball, going three innings with 4 strikeouts.

Guess I don’t need a license to pitch in Austria after all.

djsacche

Terra Friggin' Firma.

Nothing recharges the expatriate’s batteries better than a week or so back home in some of the olde haunts. Headed back to Boston (by way of a few days in Amsterdam) recently for some much needed normalcy and time spent with family and friends. And the thing that strikes me every time I get back to the US of A is just how easy everything is. Speaking my native language, shops open until the wee hours of the night, friendly service staff everywhere you go – I could go on and on.

I took in a game at the Fens and had the Best Seats of My Life. Scarfed down loads of seafood and edible pizza, two things which are consistently subpar in Vienna. Drank an average of 2 gallons of iced coffee per day. Goofed off with buddies and caught up with family, which is always fantastic. And simply basked in the glow of the first week or so of summer in a place that I’ll always call home. I think I might just have to head back there someday. Vienna’s great and all, and it’s fun and interesting to live abroad, but heading back home, I realize just how simple, easy and good things can be back home.

And that’s something that moving to Europe for a year and a half has taught me.

djsacche

Smoking Hot (and Smoking).

If you want to meet an intelligent, interesting, multilingual European girl, that’s not that hard to do. But if you want to meet an intelligent, interesting, multilingual, non-smoking European girl, well, that’s a tall order, my friend.

djsacche

The Torment of Breasts.

They’re really cool with nudity over here. I’ve been over this with my first few experiences in the sauna. I’ve seen it along the Danube, where people lay out butt-nekkid in spring and summer along its shores in Vienna. And it’s everywhere with racy advertising on billboards and in magazines. The nude figure (more female than male) is present everywhere here, and it’s great to see that people don’t freak out when they come across it.

That said, there’s one lone segment of the population that doesn’t seem to be able to handle it so well. In many of Europe’s tabloid newspapers, you’ll find what’s typically called a ‘Page 4 girl,’ a picture of a stark naked lass found (ta-da!) on page four. A couple of Vienna’s tabloids have this feature. And as I made my way on the train to work today, I could hear a group of people absolutely screaming, passing around the paper, and losing their minds over today’s Page 4 girl.

I stood and watched as a bunch of kindergartners pointed and gawked at today’s picture and ended up losing it myself. One girl, as ringleader, was particularly feisty with the picture, shoving it into the faces of her male classmates, eliciting some ear-piercing ‘eeewwws!’ and ‘yeeeecchhs!’ for all the other passengers to hear. After about five minutes of teasing, screaming, and ogling the nude picture, their cantankerous teacher intervened, stuffed the crumpled tabloid into the backpack of the ringleader, chiding her violently as she did so.

djsacche

Lookin' for a Leader.

Been running 100 mph of late, moving apartments (three in one month, but have finally settled on a one-bedroom in the 4th district), finishing up my current employment, seeking new employment, baseball, trips to Carinthia and Slovenia, getting into trouble with the locals, blah de blah de blah. I’ll be heading to Amsterdam for a few days next week and then on to Boston for a small stretch, and I’m really looking forward to standing on terra firma for a bit. It’ll be nice to walk into a store or restaurant and speak my language – it’s amazing how much of a kick that can give you when you’ve lived abroad for quite some time.

That said, I haven’t lost interest in American politics. We’ve got a mighty big choice coming our way in 2008. After eight disastrous years of 43 at the helm, let’s hope we can somehow get to 44 in one piece. But better yet, let’s hope we truly work through who is going to be the best leader for the country, not necessarily the best politician. It’ll be refreshing to get out from underneath the black cloud the country seems to be under, what with our resigned attitude towards Iraq, doomsday predictions about the environment, elevated oil prices and tough energy choices, the Social Security quandary, the list goes on.

It’s early, still. Still more than a year from election night. But as I see it now, there seem to be six viable presidential candidates. Barring a surprise entry from Al Gore (50-50, and odds are he’d be a disruptive force were he to run), I see three from the GOP and three from the Democrats. So who am I for?

I’m non-partisan. I’ll throw that out there. Since gaining the right to vote, my record in presidential elections has been all over the map: Dole, Nader, Kerry. A Republican, a Green, and a Democrat. I don’t go along party lines.

That said, I cannot fathom voting for one of the Republicans in the upcoming presidential election. Just can’t behind any one of them in any meaningful way. The mere fact that McCain calls for escalation of the Iraq war renders everything else he says irrelevant. Shame, too, because I would have been behind him big-time if he didn’t end up kowtowing to the GOP-conservative establishment and end up licking Bush’s boots for the past six years.

Romney? Meh. His move from firmly pro-choice to catering to the archconservative wing of the Republican party sealed that deal. But politics aside, Romney does have a strong record of leadership and capable management that might prove useful at a time like this. The fact that he’s Mormon doesn’t matter to me.

Giuliani somewhat fascinates me. I know it is en vogue to tout his ‘response’ to September 11 as his greatest asset, but am I alone in asking what exactly it was that he did in the days following 9/11? Sure, he jumped onto TV, inspired a city and a nation in some of its darkest days, and showed that he can handle crisis under agonizing circumstances. But isn’t that what any mayor should do? Would other mayors have done much different?

The other popular rap is that he cleaned up New York, making it palatable for tourists and its own denizens again. Threw thousands of extra police onto the beat. Oversaw what many critics have cited as an overly zealous NYPD. Gave the city a sheen it had lost over the previous two or three decades.

But what of foreign policy experience? It’s hard to see him as president, really. And as a NYC Republican, his views are (or were) more in line with my thinking on social issues. But again, he’s moved hard to the right of late (a necessary move during primary season, granted), though it was interesting to hear him maintain his stance on abortion at a recent debate. That was pleasantly surprising. Of all the GOP leaders, he’s the most intriguing to me.

I don’t even want to discuss Hillary Clinton. No interest from me there. I simply can’t imagine that Democrats would want to elect such a polarizing figure to the White House, especially after the country has endured eight years of ‘divider not uniter’ Bush at the helm. Further, what does it say about our country that we would have had a succession of Bush-Clinton-Clinton-Bush-Bush-Clinton presidencies for the past 24 years? I say enough of Bush, and enough of Clinton. Time to move on from both families, if you ask me.

Which leaves John Edwards and Barack Obama. Both are appealing, with Edwards getting a slight nod on experience and mastery of policy. He somehow hasn’t been able to translate that into a strong lead in any of the early polls, though it seems many of the Dem voters do like him. He strikes me more as a VP candidate than anything else. Sort of like what Gore was to Bill Clinton.

Obama is the candidate that everyone seems to want to like. Interesting personal history, meteoric rise from Illinois state senate to front-running presidential candidate in a few years, more than a few calling him this generation’s JFK – he seems to have it all going his way right now. Then again, so did Howard Dean. The coming months will show if he’s the real deal or a flash in the pan. I lean ‘real deal,’ but only time will tell.

Biden is the one candidate that I think has the foreign policy smarts and experience to really make for a great president, but he simply makes too many mistakes on the trail to be seen as viable. But his mastery of international affairs and experience in the Senate would make him an intriguing candidate. It’s too bad that his ‘articulate and bright and clean’ Obama reference ruined his chances before his campaign even got off the ground.

The two dark horses in the race at this point are Al Gore for the Dems and Frank Thompson for the GOP. Both seem to relish in the idea of being a spoiler for either party, and it’s Thompson who just last week seemed to solidify his interest in jumping into the fray. He’s a two-term senator who ‘looks’ presidential, has a bit of gloss on him due to his star turns in some well-known TV series and films, and can squeeze into a Republican pack that has so far seemed to underwhelm the party faithful. We’ll see if he can bring any meat to the table soon he begins to fill in the blanks on his stances on major issues.

And what of Gore? Hard to say. Though many liberals seem to clamor for his throwing the hat in the ring, he might just revel in his renaissance over the past 18 months and simply decide to stay out of the backbiting and rigors of yet another presidential contest. Gore seems to enjoy his status as the experienced old hand on the left who was decades ahead of the game on global warming and on the right side of history with his position on the Iraq War. It’s both entertaining and saddening to picture what the world would look like had Gore assumed the presidency in 2000, but instead of wallowing in defeat these past several years, Gore seems to revel in offering a knowing wink to the American voter of What Could Have Been. We’ll see if What Could Have Been morphs into What Could Be in the coming months.

Sure to be a fascinating race. I’ll let you know when I find the right man (the lone woman is out, in my book) for the job.

djsacche

From the Mouth of Bill Maher.

And finally, New Rule: conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word, "France." Like just calling something "French" is the ultimate argument winner. As if to say, "What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?"

And yet, an American politician could not survive if he uttered the simple, true statement, "France has a better health care system than we do, and we should steal it." Because here, simply dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. "John Kerry? Couldn't vote for him; he looked French." Yeah, as opposed to the other guy, who just looked stupid.

Now, last week, France had an election, and people over there approach an election differently. They vote. Eighty-five percent of them turned out. You couldn't get 85% of Americans to get off the couch if there was an election between "Tits" and "Bigger Tits," and they were handing out free samples.

Now, maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in school, abortion, stem cell research or gay marriage. And if the candidate knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback.

The electorate doesn't vote for the guy they want to have a croissant with; nor do they care about private lives. In the current race, Ségolène Royal has four kids, but she never got married. And she's a Socialist. In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him "liberal," he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

Madame Royal's opponent is married, but they live apart and lead separate lives. And the people are okay with that for the same reason they're okay with nude beaches; because they're not a nation of six-year-olds who scream and giggle if they see pee-pee parts.

They have weird ideas about privacy. They think it should be private. In France, even the mistresses have mistresses. To not have a lady on the side says to the voters, "I'm no good at multi-tasking."

Now, like any country, France has its faults, like all that ridiculous accordion music. But, their health care is the best in the industrialized world. As is their poverty rate. And they're completely independent of Mid East oil. And they're the greenest country. And they're not fat. And they have public intellectuals in France. We have Dr. Phil.

They invented sex during the day, lingerie and the tongue. Can't we admit we could learn something from them?

Kaffee, · nicht · Känguruhs

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10:56 am 7/18/07 2 comments Leave a comment	djsacche Ciao, Leute. I’m closing up shop here for a while and setting my sights on some other pursuits. I might resuscitate the journal format at some point down the line, but for now, this is the end of the line for Kaffee, nicht Känguruhs. Thanks for reading.


02:07 pm 6/8/07 Leave a comment	djsacche Smoking Hot (and Smoking).   If you want to meet an intelligent, interesting, multilingual European girl, that’s not that hard to do. But if you want to meet an intelligent, interesting, multilingual, non-smoking European girl, well, that’s a tall order, my friend.